The Reluctant BossBabe

A series of words have been lodged in my brain and I haven’t been able to shake them.

They are: Stop and Start Again; Re-do: Re-evaluate: Regroup

Turns out my entire life has been a series of Starting Again. Refocusing. Re-doing.

Back in late 2012, when I launched Nikki’s Magic Wand, I hit the ground running. I was amazed and excited that the hard work and major capital outlay was paying off. Something I’d dreamed of was now something I could hold in my hand! I couldn’t wait to tell everyone about it so that they could hold it in their hands too. It was an electric, magical (smile) time.

Well, things progressed and by Sept 2013, we’d won a QVC contest and secured a purchase order with them and so began a remarkable relationship with a heavy hitting retailer. I was sure I was headed to the Forbes’ List, y'all! Interestingly, all of 2014 moved like a snail, no inspiration, no big wins and by the end of it, I was convinced that I hadn’t done anything worthwhile. Here was one of the MANY times my momentum stopped and I had to give myself a stern talking to in order to get back on track. What I didn’t realize at the time, was 2014 was a time for planting seeds, by consistently sending wands over to QVC to sell on their dot com site. Those sales led them to call me and say, “Hey, you’ve sold out three times online, we’re thinking about putting you on the show Live.”  SAY. WHAT. NOW?

By June 2015, I was standing in a tv studio in West Chester, PA, praying I didn’t throw up and that the host didn’t break my little Wand on Live TV. This was after vowing in December of 2014 that I wouldn’t have another uninspired, lazy year. Now I can’t tell you that I even went really hard in the beginning of 2015. I can’t recall exactly what I did but I know I kept trying, chugging along with my limited knowledge. Trying to get to the point where I could stand in front of the Sharks and tell them how my little product had been selling like hot cakes and they should start fighting over who gets to board this run-away train. Well, there were no hotcakes, no trains and no sharks. There were highs and lows. There were stops and starts. There was energy and lethargy.

What was wrong with me? Why can’t I get this together? I have never apologized for working a 9 to 5 this whole time but I had to admit it was a time suck. The time I was on Grant street was definitely taking away from the time I could Go Hard in my business. That was a nice and believable excuse for a good long time but I recently came to a realization. I am not 100% sure that I would actually give it my all if I did not still work in Corporate America. I feel fairly convinced that the covers would be pulled up under my chin while I tried to figure out how to finally hit this Powerball.

Would I really work hard? Would I send out those e-mails where I use your first name so you think it's personal, post on Instagram six times a day, follow up with everyone I’m supposed to, attend networking events, find brand ambassadors, shoot videos, go Live on Facebook, create memes, use Canva, do a new photo shoot, offer specials, send samples, approach buyers, contact news outlets, launch each new product, find a new supplier, pay my sales taxes, pay my federal taxes, listen to podcasts, find out how to set up sales funnels, update my website, watch webinars, design new packaging, gather testimonials, create a landing page, run Facebook ads, enhance my SEO, and on and on and on? Would I really do all of that? Hell, I got tired writing that.

Here’s the odd truth: I want to WANT to do ALL of that. I really do. I have been told MANY times that all of that stuff works. You’ve just got to do it. Oh, well now there’s the issue.

I have determined that I am what I’m calling a “Reluctant Bossbabe.” I DESPERATELY want to be a major player. But I also want to sit around and get massages and eat cupcakes .Yep, I know I can do both but when I think of that list I just wrote, the massage/cupcake dreams seem FAR more appealing.

So, here I am. Starting again. Re-focusing. Re-doing.

I’m NOT giving up my Bossbabe dreams because I KNOW I have some fire stuff to contribute to this world in this small biz space. Plus, I thoroughly enjoy rubbing shoulders with the folks who are doing it for real. That tribe is something to behold.

I am officially inviting you to follow along as I gather some energy and excitement so I can knock out these goals. You’re going to witness me be fired up and then you’ll also see me having to smack myself in the face because brunch and SVU has taken over my life.  Stay tuned!

I'm going to do this!!! I think…