Nothing Really Happens Until You're 100% Ready.

A year ago I found myself in the ER with chest pains. Even though my blood pressure was/is well managed and my cholesterol has always been low, I was scared to death.  The diagnosis was that my potassium was low and that I should get it up. While there, they weighed me on a bed scale and even though I told them not to tell me the number, it was on my discharge papers. I almost fell over. I hadn’t seen a number like that since I was pregnant. Turns out the bed scale was off by about seven pounds and I was lighter than I thought but still MUCH more than I wanted to be.  I decided in that moment to do something about it. I joined a gym and engaged a trainer (Club Elevation-OJ Macklin) and also started taking hot yoga. I was going to get this weight off and get healthier if it killed me! 
Things started off very strong. I was working out and doing hot yoga six days a week and logging what I ate in the Lose It app. Slowly but surely, I saw changes in my body. I refused to weigh myself but my clothes were fitting differently. I found I enjoyed working out and missed it when the relentless winter prevented gym visits.  I kept it going though and along with my gym buddy, Sharise Nance for accountability, things were progressing nicely.
After a while though, I noticed some changes and not in a good way. My weight started to creep back up. I was still working out, although no longer six days a week—more like 3-4. And I started to be more casual with my eating. I wasn’t logging my food anymore and had convinced myself that as long as I was still working out, I was cool. Yeah….I wasn’t. Before I knew it, my weight had climbed right where it was around bed scale time.
So, challenged by our trainer, Sharise (who has a self-professed cookie addiction) and I decided to buckle down and start fresh. More working out but even more importantly, more focus on our diet. She chose the eating clean/no sugar route. I chose the Intermittent Fasting and calorie watching method. We have both seen great results. I lost eleven pounds in 18 days and my body is still responding well. I eat pretty healthily but also have what I like. This is really the only way I could keep this going. If I had to seriously consider never having another Oreo, I’d be a mean broad.
I wanted to share this reflection because I thought some of you might be able to relate. Also, I finally accepted the fact that you really can’t out exercise a bad diet, even though my trainer had been telling me that for a year. 
After seeing some of my gym posts, some have said that they know they need to get in the gym. I’ve told them that they will go when they are either fed up or scared straight. There’s no point in guilting yourself if you’re not ready to fully commit.  At the beginning, I couldn’t bench press anything more than 15 pound dumb bells. Now I can bench press ones that are 40 pounds each. I couldn’t do one push up and while they are still not my fave, I can do a number of them before I start cussing. There’s no way I would be ok with losing that strength so I have to keep going.
No matter what change you need to make in your life, you’ll know/feel when the time is right. So many of us are inspired by a new year or other people but those are not real motivations. You have to make changes for you. You have to want it more than you want anything else.  It’s not easy but it’s so worth it!

It's Funny What We Get Used To

About a month ago, I decided to try Intermittent Fasting.  I’m not sure how I stumbled on it but after researching it, it seemed to be a fit for me. I liked the fact that it was not only good for weight loss, but it had also been proven to offer many health benefits. The plan I decided on was the 16/8 plan. That was where you eat within an 8 hour timeframe and fast for 16 hours. I chose to start my eating window at 12 noon and close it at 8pm. So, it means essentially skipping breakfast and avoiding late night snacks.

I was ready!

The first few days were tough. Prior to starting this, I’d be eager to eat by the time I got to work. I’d race to the cafeteria by 9am and get my breakfast and hungrily consume it. I’d be looking for a snack around 11am, eat again at 1:30pm, snack again at 3 or 4pm, dinner at say 7pm and then some kind of treat at 9pm or so. This was the way it had always been and it was what my body had become accustomed to.

After I got into the swing of things, I noticed something very interesting. The morning would progress and as I would consume my water or tea with no sugar, I realized that I was not dying of hunger like I thought I was at 9am during my previous eating style. I was getting used to that feeling of satisfaction from beverages and by the time noon came, sometime I was eager to eat and sometimes I wasn’t. I had gotten used to it and it was my new norm.

Realizing this made me think of other things that we “get used to.”

We get used to feeling alone.
We get used to being unhappy.
We get used to being in a bad relationship.
We get used to disrespect.
We get used to pain.
We get used to having a horrible job.
We get used to being unhealthy.
We get used to being afraid.
We get used to losing.

It’s comfortable, it’s what we know.

Change is hard, it’s uncomfortable, it feels impossible.

The thing is, it’s NOT impossible. If it means enough to you, it’s 100% possible.

It’s worth it AND you’ll be SHOCKED by how quickly you’ll adapt to the new goodness in your life.

Today, pick something POSITIVE to get used to.

ANYTHING worth having is on the other side of fear/change.

Death to SHOULD

My last blog post was a LONG time ago. Eight months ago to be exact. That is a high crime in BlogLand. Truth is, I haven’t had much to say.  While it’s true that I haven’t really been thinking of blogging, something made me feel like the topics should just flood my mind. And there it is. That word…SHOULD.

That word has such power over our lives.

Check out what I mean:

I was inspired to write this blog five minutes ago after viewing pictures of a Facebook friend. The pictures are absolutely beautiful and in them, she is smiling and showing off her figure in a crop top. The pictures exude happiness and confidence and so much self- love. Someone commented that they wished they had an ounce of her confidence and she responded that we have to learn to love ourselves and remember that while we may not be where we want to be, we aren’t where we were. She killed the notion that you SHOULD only wear a crop top if you have rock hard abs. Why would we think that when rock hard abs are super HARD to come by?

My list of SHOULDs is LONG:

1. I SHOULD have rock solid abs. LOL!
2. I SHOULD have a bigger savings account.
3. I SHOULD have clear skin at my age.
4. I SHOULD be more organized.
5. I SHOULD have more willpower with my eating.
6. I SHOULD go home to Philly more.
7. I SHOULD call my grannies more.
8. I SHOULD be further along with my business.
9. I SHOULD have finished my second book a long time ago.
10. I SHOULD cook more.

And on and on and damn on.

Our minds LOVE to tell us that we’re just never, ever doing enough and what a sad cycle and discouraging message that is to tell ourselves every second of every day.  It seems to be much easier to focus on what’s wrong, as opposed to what’s right. Many of us have seen that meme that says, “Even on my worst day, I’m killing it.” We post it to fire ourselves up and let folks know that we’re the shit. However, it’s SO hard to hold on to that feeling and thought. It takes constant reminders and then we’re RIGHT back to SHOULD with, “I SHOULD be able to remember this! What is wrong with me?”

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired. Tired of caring, not so much about what others think but about what I think, if it’s not positive. I’m weary of worrying about how this tummy, that held and nurtured two healthy babies, is not completely flat and still pouchy even though my youngest is now grown man sized.  I’m tired of wondering if you can see a pimple in my selfie. My value is between my ears and in my chest (heart) and cannot be removed by the fact that I have stretch marks or gray hair.

SHOULD needs to die today.  Who cares what you SHOULD be doing. The only thing that is important is if you deeply, genuinely, unconditionally LOVE who and what you see in that mirror and WHEN you get there, nothing else matters.

NOTHING.